Stormy Weather

"Man, it's really coming down out there," he said, peering through the office window. "Look at that rape! ...I mean, rain." He turned around to see if anyone had noticed, but no one was paying attention. Damn, he thought. This new Awkward Segue Amendment to the Sexual Predator Awareness Non-Disclosure Act was going to make things more difficult than he'd thought.

Eggs

"I'll take my eggs over-easy!" he cheerfully shouted. What they said was true, she realized - he was terrible at talking dirty.

The Birds and the Bees

"It's time to have the talk, son," Mom said to me one sunny autumn evening. "You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much..."

"Hold on," I interrupted. "If it's evening, why's it sunny out?"

"Oh God," Mom responded. "They're here."